Hell yeah – thanks to some considerate people on Facebook, I’ve found out how we can lower fuel prices! This event [link no longer active, sorry] will be a life-changer, guaranteed.
Why had I never thought of this? I could have been famous! If we get people to buy their fuel on the days preceding April 1st instead of when they usually would, then the government will be quaking in their boots! They’ll be forced to act – they hate those times when businesses more customers on one day at the expense of another, see. Not in this society – that’s why they’re campaigning to cancel Christmas and New Year.
Things could get serious. All of the fuel that is due to be delivered on April 2nd will have nowhere to go, because the pumps will still be full from the day before. The delivery vehicles will have no choice but to dump their loads in rivers and streams across the country, and possibly even schools and nursery if the waterways get clogged up. (Of course, we may need to alert the petrol stations to our protest, so that they can order any extra fuel that will be necessary if we’re all buying fuel in advance).
Let’s stop buying fuel to show the government that their plan to stop us using so much fuel will not work! I, personally, me, myself, will not buy a single drop more fuel until the government stops discouraging fuel use. Those bureaucratic fools, ha! No way. We’ll force them to reduce their tax and duty revenues out of fear that their revenues will decrease. Let’s do this!
A guy called Billy clear doesn’t understand the genius of this idea and posted a comment on the event’s page. The responses were spot-on, excellent:
Thanks Craig. Thanks Dave. Haters gonna hate.